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RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife

Kelly Umphenour

Joined 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO. Last activity 6 weeks ago.

I am the RealHousewife of St. Louis.  I have been   married for 13 years and they have been the best years of my life.  I have 3 beautiful daughters.  They are 10, 12 & 23 so my house is always full of fun. 

I am a Registered Polysomnographic Technologist (R.PSG.T).  I worked in sleep medicine for several years. I still research and love the science of sleep.

I love traveling and am a thrill seeker.  I love art. I am very good with colors, markers and coloring books.  I almost always stay in the lines:-)

I love to read and write about a broad range of topics.  I love HubPages and have learned so much from excellent writers such as, Austinstar, barbergirl28,  Just Ask Susan, and Motown2Chitown.

I own a small business that provides research reports in the real estate industry and have a license to sell real estate in Missouri.  First and foremost - I am a REAL housewife.  I don't have maids, cooks, or assistants. 

You can learn more about me by reading an interview by my friend and fellow writer, Ruchira who is about the kindest individual I have ever encountered!

My handwriting analysis was completed by brilliant hubber and writer Tammy Swallow....see what secrets my handwriting reveal about me!

Coffee with a RealHousewife

If you would like to write for HubPages click here!

Join me on Google+ and  Twitter! 

Keep It Real!

 

My Content: Hubs, Answers, and Forums

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  • Food and Cooking (20)
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  • 35

    How To Make Rolled Grape Leaves at Home (Dolmades)

    9 months ago

    Bring a little Mediterranean flavor into your kitchen at home. Roll up some grape leaves, add some Tabouleh and Hummus and you'll have a meal fit for a Grecian God! Here's the "how to."

  • 87

    Perfect Gifts for People You Hate 2013

    10 months ago

    Each year we shop for gifts for those we love. That's easy and fun but what about those necessary, obligatory gifts? Make gift giving to those you don't like so much meaningful and fun!

  • 33

    Eggies "As Seen On T.V." Product Review

    18 months ago

    Will this kit help you make deviled eggs that are a home run hit or is it just another fowl fly by?

  • 64

    The Unsolved Mystery of Taman Shud

    18 months ago

    Who is this mystery man? His identity has been a secret since he was discovered on the beach in Australia in 1948.

  • 41

    Artificial Islands of the World

    19 months ago

    As the people of the world face envirnomental concerns such as over population and the disappearing masses of land that are engulfed by water is this a viable housing solution?

  • 27

    The Voynich Manuscript - Decoded?

    19 months ago

    Who wrote the Voynich Manuscript? Intellects have been trying to solve the many mysteries of the manuscript for over a century - has it been cracked?

  • 59

    Easy Party Treats to Make at Home

    20 months ago

    Beautiful treats you can make for a special night or event. These are ideas that are easy enough for kids to make and won't cost you a lot of money or time.

  • 47

    Fecal Transfusions - Be A Donor!

    15 months ago

    Are you suffering from constant stomach cramping and diarrhea caused by antibiotic resisent bacteria? Well this sh*& might be for you!

  • 51

    Signs That "He" Is Married

    15 months ago

    Are you starting to get suspicious that your new beau might be hiding something from you? Like a wife? There are always signs that spell marriage - are you looking for them?

  • 34

    Perfect Parting Gifts - Gifts for the Newly Divorced!

    20 months ago

    If you have an ex-say goodbye with just the right gift! If you are having trouble cutting those ties that bind, turns out that's pretty common. Learn about "Break-Up with Your Ex-Campaign" that starts on...

  • 21

    The Controversies of Patty Hearst

    10 months ago

    The Patty Hearst ordeal has been a controversial topic in the media for almost 4 decades. The questions still linger on...was Patty a participant? A victim or was she the unknowing patsy for a C.I.A. conspiracy to...

  • 48

    Am I Really in Love? Take the Quiz!

    10 months ago

    Do you feel conflicted about what is going on in your head? Is love causing you complications? Find out if it's really love!

  • 31

    Am I Manipulative? Are You? Take the Quiz

    20 months ago

    How manipulative are you? Are you easily manipulated? Think you can't be? Don't be so naive!

  • 96

    Perfect Gifts for People You Hate!

    10 months ago

    Let's face it, sometimes we are obligated to buy holiday gifts for people we really don't like. It might be a boss, an in-law, your sister or your boyfriend's sister! It just wouldn't be right to come to the party empty...

  • 52

    How to Make Croquembouche - Step by Step Recipe

    24 months ago

    Croquembouche is a magnificent tower of pasty puffs filled with custard and sealed in caramel. A traditional French Wedding Cake finds it's way to the American housewife's table! Irresistible, delicious, sinful and too...

  • 54

    Dessert Shooters - No Bake Recipes!

    2 years ago

    Dessert Shooters are the newest fashion party food craze. These sweet treats are popping up everywhere. While they might look difficult to make - they are so easy you don't even have to bake a thing! As with...

  • 32

    Unclaimed Property Databases - Search for Lost Money!

    2 years ago

    You could be rich! Learn how to search statewide databases for unclaimed property and funds. It is completely free to search and you might find that you have treasure waiting to be discovered!

  • 26

    How and When to Call 911 - Do's & Don'ts with Video

    10 months ago

    Know when and the correct way to contact your local emergency service. There are many ways you can summon help. Make sure you and your family know, in cases of emergency, where you should call for help.

  • 82

    Cooking Recipes You Can Make In Jail!

    22 months ago

    Learn to Cook Housewives, no matter where you find yourself in the future you should be able to create a delicious soup du jour! Find out how you can cook in the most limited spaces, using scant ingredients or...

  • 59

    Petits Fours Made Easy

    2 years ago

    Petits Fours are the hottest dessert bites on the table. Learn how simple they are to make right at home in your own kitchen!

  • 66

    Perfect Mini Pie Crust & Perfect Mini Pie Recipes!

    2 years ago

    Learn to cook perfect mini pies! Pies aren't just for dessert anymore. You can make upscale desserts or quiches that are delightful 24/7 - in 30 minutes or less!

  • 76

    Southern Style Chicken and Dumplings

    2 years ago

    Lesson 7 - Cooking for Beginners This week learn how to make a great chicken stock and home made southern style chicken and dumplings step by step. This dish is comfort food that is satisfying all year long!

  • 72

    The History of Duck Tape

    10 months ago

    Find out why millions of American's love Duck Tape!

  • 63

    Browned Butter Sauce & It's Many Uses

    2 years ago

    Lesson 6 - Learn to Cook This week the topic is butter. Butter sauces, how to cook with butter, the smoke point and factors to consider when cooking with butter. Learn how to make butter sauces and browned butter and...

  • 44

    The History of Computer Hacking

    2 years ago

    The word "hacker" causes an instant reaction when you hear it. Do you know what hacking really is? Do you know how it all started? Learn about the fascinating history of computer hacking!

  • 75

    Am I A Psycho? Are You? Take the Quiz

    2 years ago

    Not all psychopaths are killers. Not all killers are psycopaths. What makes a person a true psychopath? Could you be a psychopath?

  • 60

    Nesco American Harvest Dehydrator Product Review

    2 years ago

    Dehydrating food is becoming more popular as food prices rise and crops are affected by harsh weather. Not only does it save money but it can also preserve the bounty from your summer garden! You can use a dehydrator...

  • 66

    Make Your Own Linen Spray

    2 years ago

    It's so easy to make your own perfumed spray for linen and fabric! Learn how to make your favorite scented spray for a thoughtful gift keep it for yourself!

  • 135

    UFO Investigators Face Paranormal Deaths?

    10 months ago

    For those of you who choose to study UFO's and research the possiblities of Alien life - BEWARE! Investigators seem to die of suspicious deaths, murder and questionable suicides. Who is out to get the UFO...

  • 58

    Learn to Cook - Tips for The Beginning Cook

    2 years ago

    Cooking is an art and like any other art form, it requires practice. I often have to try recipes several times before I am happy with the final result. For many reasons a recipe may not work for me according to the...

  • 44

    The Secret in the Sauce - Pork Chops and Cherry Sauce

    10 months ago

    Lesson 3 - Cooking for Beginners! This week learn what the secret in the sauce really is! I will show you how to make a cherry sauce that will camofllage any type of meat and reveal the secret that will send...

  • 56

    Cook Perfect Eggs in the Microwave!

    2 years ago

    Lesson 2 of cooking lessons for non cook or wanna be chef. Everyone should be able to cook and with my easy lessons you will be cooking like a gormet cook in no time. This week join me as I show you how to make sexy...

  • 50

    Perfect 'tween Girl's Birthday Party!

    2 years ago

    Have a perfect birthday party for your 'tween aged girl! Leave the mess and take your party on the road for an unforgettable celebration!

  • 64

    How to Make Perfect Toast!

    10 months ago

    Make the perfect piece of toast or learn about some exciting ways to top your toast! Instructions for the new cook or the non-cook. Everyone can learn to cook even the Real Housewives - so lets start with simple...

  • 33

    Create a Great Summer Space with an Outdoor Gazebo!

    2 years ago

    Adding an outdoor gazebo is easy, cheap and adds a whole new beautiful addition to your home.

  • 78

    A Visit With the Old Order Amish, Bowling Green, Missouri

    2 years ago

    Exclusive, rare photographs of the Old Order Amish Town in Bowling Green, Missouri. Life and problems of the Amish community.

  • 54

    Foil Packet Recipe - Fast Food Made Simple

    2 years ago

    This is a recipe that I make all year round but summer is always the best time to cook this recipe. I live near several farmer's markets and I change this recipe according to what is freshest and looks best when I am...

  • 73

    Don't Engage - End Road Rage!

    22 months ago

    Road Rage affects everyone who drives - and even those who don't. Approximately 1200 deaths per year occur due to road rage. Are you a prudent driver? Take the quiz and find out!

  • 75

    Am I Obsessive? Take the Quiz!

    2 years ago

    Obsessions and the benefits versus the unpleasant consequences. Brilliance can be achieved by focusing on obsession, people have been targeted for murder due to obsessions - how much is healthy?

  • 83

    First Date Conversation Starters

    2 years ago

    Conversation is the key to getting what you want. Know how to listen better and what to talk about on your first date so you can make it to date 2 - or if you should save the bucks and move on!

  • 137

    How to Get a New Girlfriend!

    23 months ago

    The lady of the 21st Century is sophisticated, educated and employed. Finding a new girlfriend is much harder now -find out where the ladies are and what they want in a guy!

  • 90

    Circadian Rhythm Disorders

    23 months ago

    You do have rhythm - I don't care what your mother says! Circadian Rhythm is your body's natural time clock. We all have it. Does your body know what time it is? Or is your clock confused? Find out how to tell - and...

  • 101

    Slang Around the World - What's Up With That?

    23 months ago

    Slang - the language of code words around the world. What's the shizzle, ferizzo?

  • 117

    Breaking the Dress Code

    2 years ago

    Dress codes are largely unwritten but maybe they should be! While institutions can privately enforce a writen dress code there is no federal law but plese spare the public eye - don't break the dcress code!

  • 95

    Cancun, Mexico ~ Meeting La Gringa Loca of the Jungle!

    2 years ago

    I went to Mexico where I met Gringa Loca of the Jungle! Travel Mexico and you will understand why Melissa Dee just couldn't leave.

  • 97

    Rotini Pasta Salad Recipe

    2 years ago

    I am sharing my favorite secret recipe with photos and a few hot tips to help you get ready for any big event fast and look like a Top Chef!

  • 128

    Am I A Pathological Liar?

    2 years ago

    Are you a dirty little liar? What drives people to tell lies and when it is a problem. Learn the signs of a prolific liar.

  • 246

    Am I A Sociopath? Are You? Take The Quiz!

    2 years ago

    Sociopaths are quite common and we deal with them everyday. They are not easy to spot because they look just like me or you. What is a sociopath?

  • 50

    Diary of a MAD 7 Year Old - Effective Anger Management Strategies for Children

    2 years ago

    Teach your child how to deal with anger appropriately. This is the diary of a 7 year old. Young children can express anger and channel it in a positive direction by using a diary - here's proof!

  • 43

    Charm School: 101 - Lesser Known Social Etiquette Tips

    2 years ago

    Certain social settings require grace and good manners. Can you handle any situation with class?

  • 43

    Best Buy - Avoiding the Bait and Switch and Other Online Scams

    2 years ago

    Best Buy is scamming again - ways to avoid online scams and the practice of the bait and switch!

  • 80

    Chicken Flamingo - My Favorite Copycat Recipe!

    2 years ago

    My husband's favorite dish is Chicken Flamingo from Pasta House. He said, "if you learn to make that - I will marry you!" I did learn to make it - and I have adapted it and perfected it. Don't forget -...

  • 66

    Read the Signs - Decode The Hidden Meanings

    2 years ago

    In the United States street signs include hidden meanings. Can you read the signs? Get the 411!

  • 26

    Homemade Sloppy Joes - Fast Family Favorite!

    2 years ago

    This is a family favorite recipe that is loved by adults and children. It is fast food at it's finest in homemade form.

  • 186

    Peggy Lynn Alt - Where Are You?

    2 years ago

    Peggy Lynn Alt disappeared on March 2, 1985 from High Ridge, Missouri - why hasn't anyone looked for her?

  • 55

    Where to Find Gold!

    10 months ago

    Being a Gold Digger is underrated. You can dig a little deeper - and it might pay off!

  • 76

    Sneaky Subliminal Messages

    2 years ago

    Are subliminal messages in control of your awareness?

  • 60

    Extreme Green Living - Floating Homes!

    2 years ago

    Floating Homes can be self sufficient or cost millions of dollars. Floating homes can range in size from very small to an entire city. Due to overpopulation and water covering more and more land, is this the home of the...

  • 134

    Do You Have A Million Dollar Mind?

    2 years ago

    It only takes one crazy idea to make a million dollars - weird ways people became millionaires!

  • 36

    Taylor Swift - America's Favorite Sweetheart (photos)

    10 months ago

    Taylor Swift was one of America's hottest stars of 2011. Check out original photos from her concert in St. Louis, Missouri 8/13/2011 and learn why she is America's sweetheart!

  • 48

    How To Be A Sleep Technologist

    2 years ago

    Sleep is a great field to break into...have you ever thought about being a sleep technician/technogist?

  • 52

    10 Professional Goals to Boost Your Career!

    2 years ago

    It is no secret that the economy is stagnant. Not only is getting a job tough - but keeping one is more difficult due to enormous competition. The business world going into 2012 is cut throat. There are more people with...

  • 156

    Exciting Ways to Supplement Your Income!

    20 months ago

    You can make extra money and have a great time too!

  • 65

    How to Pass Your Sleep Study Test

    2 years ago

    Here is the scoop about sleep studies. What to expect for the sleep study and how you can participate in research studies and get paid!

  • 98

    "What He Said" - and When it's Plagiarism

    2 years ago

    Plagiarism is the theft of your ideas or words. When you want to say "what he said" and how to do it legally.

  • 57

    Exciting Christmas Gifts for Everyone!

    10 months ago

    Gift ideas for everyone - the girlfriend you don't want to upset to those people you want to say goodbye to forever!

  • 47

    Extreme Green Living - Earthships!

    2 years ago

    Recycled bottles, tires, straw or steel boxes can be home sweet home!

  • 75

    Housewife Meets the Shark!

    10 months ago

    A product review of The Shark steam floor cleaner! Is it really all that?

  • 112

    Who is Sleeping with Justin Bieber?

    2 years ago

    Mariah Yeater is not sleeping with the Biebs....he sleeps at my house!

  • 60

    Colon Cleaner Will Make You Leaner!

    2 years ago

    An investigation into colon cleanse products. Do they really work? Or are you beautiful just the way you are?

  • 100

    There's Nothing I Wouldn't Do for a Good Old Fashioned Ding Dong!

    10 months ago

    I remember a time when everything was better - simpler. Food was made with real ingredients and not fillers and fat. Coke was the real thing...and Ding Dong's were wrapped in foil!

  • 110

    The ESP Frequency

    2 years ago

    The brain and it's frequencies - how they could relate to ESP!

  • 245

    Am I A Narcissist? Take The Quiz!

    2 years ago

    What makes a person a narcissist? Are you a narcissist? Take the quiz and find out!

  • 101

    Body Talk - What Are You Saying?

    2 years ago

    A look at body language - what you say without words tells a lot about you. Subtle clues can give away what we think and feel - even if we don't realize it. Be aware of what you say - and what is being said to you!

  • 142

    Capture Him and Cage Him!

    2 years ago

    Advice for females looking for males! How to Capture the man of your dreams and keep him!

  • 193

    What Are You Dreaming?

    3 years ago

    What is happening inside our brains when we are sleeping? Do our dreams have personal meaning?

  • 66

    Poems for Chelsea

    3 years ago

    I am a RealHousewife. I have three real children. Sydney is my middle child. She is eleven and she wants to be a writer some day. I am a huge fan of sueroy333. Her daughter, Chelsea, is also a writer. Chelsea had an...

  • 59

    How To Beat A Polygraph Exam

    2 years ago

    Advice on how to really beat that polygraph if you aren't a good liar!

  • 44

    Graffiti - Is it an Art or a Crime?

    3 years ago

    A look at graffiti - it's art and sometimes that's just a crime!

  • 52

    Never Risk What You Can't Afford to Lose

    3 years ago

    My mom married again when I was about 10 or 11. I called him the Major, not because he was a in the service - he was a MAJOR pain in the ass. Seriously, we got a long well. He knew I had a wild side and he tried to curb...

  • 74

    What to do When YOUR Daughter Starts Dating.

    2 years ago

    A humorous article about teen age daughters and when they begin to date. What would you do?

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