Melbel Getting Married - Virtually - Online!
79Here Comes The Bride!
Torn between two lovers....
It's a wedding in Hubville!
Getting married isn't what it used to be. No longer is it the protocol of dating for 6 months while you wait for the candle to burn out on the back porch. Now, marriage is something you just do, when you get bored. If it doesn't work out, you just email your agent, rip up the contract and call the butcher because you are back on the meat market!
When Melbel received a propsal of marriage in her email box - I told her to just do it! Just as soon as I offered my kind words of wisdom - Thought Sandwiches appeared on the scene and said he wasn't planning on getting married this year - but it sounded pretty good.
Having two gentleman callers - when clearly she could only marry one of them - made me a little nervous...this one, that one, picky, picky, picky! Thought Sandwiches already had a tuxedo so he won my mental tug of war. Melbel wouldn't even notice the difference. She hadn't met the other guy either and that was beside the major point - Melbel and I had shopping to do! Vera Wang is out of sight and online!
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How To Arrange An Online Wedding!
Virtual Online Wedding!
- Virtual wedding. Free marriage. Get married online.
Get married online for free. Virtual wedding online! Virtual marriage online! The internet registry of marriage!
I told T.S. not to worry, I would arrange the whole thing online!
I started the checklist. We need a good photographer. I contacted my buddy, Cagsil, who is a virtual magician with photos and he was available for the gig.
Next we will need a ring. A big one. The bigger the diamond the larger the love. Yellow canary diamonds are best. I mean, if some little kid in Africa didn't have to live a brutal life to make your hand shine - well it just wouldn't be a very happy wedding, would it?
Online Virtual Weddings!
K.G. will keep things real....
Virtually Delicious!
Everyone Is Invited!
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Lobster Gram!
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"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." ~Dr. Suess
Bridal Party
Cagsil suggested I choose nice, well mannered people that cared about Melbel and T.S., but that is where my expertise shows...I explained that the most important thing was pretty people.A photo shoot is necessary. Photos are made to last a life time! Make sure the wedding party is gorgeous because that is what goes in the album. Pretty = perfect.
I tweeted my other housewife lady friends. Drop the mop and bring it beautiful ladies! The online world needs your pretty faces for a moment. Just so I can show I am a good guy - I am choosing the housewife with the manner's book, LuAnn de Lesseps. Then, for the drama aspect we will have Kim Zolciak (she did just learn to spell champagne), Kelly Bensimon and the comedian Kathy Griffin. Putting them all in one room in dresses - well no telling what would happen! It is sure to be exciting!
For the men, we need really cute guys, so I am choosing Jake Gyllenhaal, Matthew McConaughey, Justin Timberlake, Ashton Kutcher and Taylor Lautner. Hot!
Wedding Invitations
Wedding Invitations can be ordered online but really aren't necessary. In 2012 you can simply send a mass email to those people in your contact list, create a Facebook page and tell everyone where you have registered so that you can choose your own gifts. If you would like cash...simply give the breakdown of what their cost would have been if they had to attend a real wedding and request a donation. Invite everyone so that you can collect as many gifts as possible. It doesn't matter if you don't really know the guest if they are in your contact list that's close enough.
Flowers
Virtual weddings only require that the bride and groom have flowers...so you could grow your own in container gardens or get crafty and make your own from Starburst wrappers!
Caterer
That is the great thing about virtual weddings! You can skip the caterer and just order a Lobster Gram for you and the spouse to be! You can order live lobsters, clarified butter, shrimp, sides and cake for dessert - all delivered right to your front door!
Cake
You can't have a wedding without cake. You can just send everyone photographs of cake! It will be virtually delicious and fat free!
Honeymoon!
Melbel and Thought Sandwiches will be going on a virtual vacation to the romantic Virgin Islands and I invite you all to join them! Who can't use a trip to the beach? You can now take several versions of Virtual Vacations.
Now that Melbel and Thought Sandwiches are virtually married T.S. will need to get an online account and begin transferring half of his paycheck to Melbel's paypal account.
Congratulations Melbel and Thought Sandwiches! May you live virtually happy ever after!
Relax and take a Virtual Vacation!
- The Meaning of LMAO in Text Messaging and Facebook
Have you ever wondered what meaning of LMAO is? Learn what LMAO means and where text messaging terms like LMAO come from! Plus, learn other slang texting words! - How to get Mauied. Go on a blind date and get married in Hawaii.
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Congrats Melbel! I hope you enjoyed your virtual wedding and honeymoon! You should be receiving your checks in your paypal account soon...if not...I know a great lawyer! LOL
I can't believe how much you can arrange online...we might be onto a new business here - the virtual hook up!
Yeah...Jake...ain't he cute! Seriously now! haha!
Happy New Year! I am glad we both started 2012 with a LMAO:)
Congratulations Melbel and TS! And congrats RealHousewife, on a very funny hub.
That beach video is just glorious, thanks for the invitation to join them, will you pay for the flight?! :-)
Since you don’t seem to have organised the cake yet, can I donate some of my muffins, please!
My mouth dropped open and stayed that way all through this tale? I couldn't make out whether there was any real life happenings or in was an "Alice through the laptop screen" cybernightmare. I mean "thought sandwiches?" Enjoyed by Jabberwockies I suppose. Amusing and baffling Bob
Wow I must have been gone forever to miss all this hahah I laughed several times while reading this. My next wedding will be arranged online now that I see how easy it can be :)
This was funny!
I see melanie's sister Julia getting the kick out of it! Well T.S. are you a calf or a toyish kind. I don't know how this thin on cyber marriage would work. Intimacy would be fake and even fights too!! instead of physical violence Melanie can send a virus to T.S. who knows....how about the babies...courtesy of Paypal?
LORD
LMAO RHW! What a great way to start off the new year....making people laugh.
You say you need some really cute guys, but I didn't see my name mentioned there. What the hell! What's the matter? Don't you ladies like pot bellied, middle aged guys? LOL. Just to let you know that part of the hub.....not so funny.
If you'll excuse me, I gotta go blow up my date now. :)
Hi Melovey! That would be great - mmmm marriage and muffins! YuuUMmmmYyy, LOL. We can just find out what Mel's favorites are! Then beat feet and meet us on the beach! Too funny:). Thanks so much for coming to the wedding!
LOL Bob! Yes this is a total cyber nightmare....! We were just kidding around at first about how strangers will email things after we have published hubs. Sometimes we get rants - or people that say we are "stupid or ugly" lol. Then Melbel made a mistake and told me she had an offer of marriage by email....well everything went straight to into the crapper after that! Then Thought Sammies said he'd like to marry her...and as the sorry goes!!
Haha! Happy New Year! Thanks for having some fun with us!
What am I chopped liver, no invitation for me? Am I not pretty enough...Oh maybe I am not well mannered enough...lol
This is my second hub wedding... just a few months ago Cagsil and Kimberlyslyrics got married!
Congrats Melbel!
Hi Ardie! LOL yep...we were goofing off again! See what happens? But look - you are right on time for the wedding! Now we can all take a deep sign of relief - Security is here! I hope you brought your Billy club for when Kathy Griffin rips the wig off Kim Zolciak's head! You know if we put those ladies together....um um um!
Welcome Lord! Tanks for coming to the wedding! Haha!
Oh there won't be any children! No no no! Melbel is just getting a hamster instead. Then she can toss it in a ball and send it to TS for his weekends! Hopefully he won't be hungry either because TS is an animal! LOL
Thank you so much for having a little fun with us! Lol
Hi Daffy! Omg! Now that you're here I'm giving Ashton Kutcher the boot - your in! Lol. Omg - we were all goofing off on FB about some of the emails we get and things grew from there:) haha!
Actually Melbel did want only middle aged pot bellied guys - but is straightened her out on that - you gotta get the sexy guys from 2011 dude! Haha! But now that you have stuffed that visual into my head - I can't stop laughing! LOL. Mannnn...Daffy where were you last night? Haha!
You are absolutley crazy... this is just to funny and who would have thought that arranging a marriage could really be this easy! Seriously - this is what I should have done... or maybe I should have had you plan it for me. Now the only thing left would be to video the virtual wedding and place it on youtube for all to enjoy.
Absolutley Brilliant!
Hi Cardisa! Oh you were invited! Didn't you get that invitation? Lol. You are the maid of honor!! Omg! Well I'm sure glad you showed up....you've got stuff to do! Gotta make sure Mel doesn't have any shiny spots and youre in charge of the other ladies...make them behave! Haha! I know you're the muscle if anything gets out of hand!
Thanks so much for having a good laugh with us!
BBG - LOL! I was so laughing and knowing you were going to laugh about this one! Too hilarious....and if you click "bring it" up there it goes straight to your P9OX day 90!!!!!!! Now that is awesome! We have lots of reasons to celebrate today huh?!!
Can you believe it?? I was so surprised - I thought I was going to have lots of trouble getting a minister or reverend....but nope! Click, click! Virtual weddings! And virtual Vacations? Ok! That's a good one:). I'd much rather go on a real vacation but hey - can't always win right? Lol
I'm not sure what is more surprising - ladies getting email proposals from strangers or the fact that this does probably happen! Omg!
Thank you SO much Stacy and happy new year!!
RHW - I appreciate the invite to the honeymoon but that needs to be a private thing with lots of virtual hanky-panky.
The Frog
@RHW: I was home ringing in the New Year trying to patch the hole in my date. :) How about you?
Hi FP! Haha! Well it's only a virtual honeymoon! Lol. So go ahead take the free vacation! Haha!
Daffy - gorilla glue is a miracle worker! Just make sure the glue dries before you put her in the car! Lol. I was writing this hub last night so as you can see I'm a real party animal! Hey! I guess you could say I had a virtual party!
RHW - Okay as long as I don't have to watch the virtual sealing of the deal so to speak!
FP
Right....and don't you think it was nice of me to send them (well virtually) to the Virgin Islands??? LOL
Nice!
Hi Dexter - thank you so much! Happy New Year and best wishes for another fabulous writing year:)
And I just realized too... the perfect virtual gift from me to the new couple... virtual Mountain Dew... Mel is going to need it to keep TS in check! LOL... by the way.. thinking of TS... does he know he is getting married yet? LOL
And thank you for the link... I clicked on it and was like .... oh yeah! Happy New Year to you as well... I better get on my hub for the day otherwise I will start the new year off behind! :)
Congrats to Melanie and Jake?!? Jake is my daughters' crush...her "freebie"!
Real you could plan a wedding for me anytime!! Well Dave might mind but we won't tell him! Thanks for the laughs! Best wishes to the happy couple!!
BBG - yes Thomas knows about the impending wedding...I think the virtual bachelor party totally knocked him out! He wasn't sure of the date you know...it is part of the surprise! I hope he doesn't keep his bride waiting too long though or he will need some good life insurance! lol I couldn't resist the urge to link your series when I caught myself typing "Bring It!" LOL
Ohhh good and now we got Sunshine! Just the perfect thing for the wedding! We could always shoot for a second wedding to the same guys...I been thinking about that! I realized if I got divorced then I could get remarried and go on another honeymoon! But I like my husband a whole lot so I could just marry him again! LOL
Thanks so much!
Now why didn't I think of that?!? Good idea...round up the Dave's!! :)
Hey Kelly, this is absolutely too funny. Very nicely written and extremely creative. Btw- the pictures were stolen. I sent them to be developed and for some odd reason, they didn't have them when I went back to get them. What was even weirder was the location was a vacant lot by the time I got a chance to pick them. Weird, huh? One day a film developing store and the next a vacant lot? :P ;) Voted up! :)
Ok! Sunshine you got a deal...AND...we can shoot for 2 for one packages! Lol
Cagsil - that is too bad about those photos...but we can sort of look at it like Charlie on Charlies angels...we will just have to imagine their pretty photos! LOL. Haha! Just watching that Torn Between Two Lovers video makes me LOL! Such drama! Poor Melbel such is life! Now she has TS.....she just might need to make sure he's up on his shots! Lol
Thanks so much...so much fun!!
Funny stuff!
Kelly...
I won't lie. When I saw that you had typed "just do it" ...I actually thought we were talking about something else. (Note to self...read ALL the comments...not just the last one).
This was awesome my friend!! I am doing a rewrite of parts 5 and 6 to incorporate your nutty ideas here. Really, how could I not? The visions of a brutalized African kid making things "just right" ...honestly...a tear to my eye.
Thank you for all the congratulations to the online wedding attendees!! This explains why I woke up wearing a garter belt this morning...
You Rock Dorothy!!
Thomas
PS...um...so Melbel...on this consummation thing? Your Hub or mine...?
Hi TS! ahhhh the man of honor has arrived! YO - party in the house!!
Ding...ding...ding....Melbel! The groom has arrived and as you can see - with bells on!!
OMG! T.S. - thank you so much for having such a great time with us...I think this was my favorite of all time to write...I laughed so hard choosing grooms, and this and that! Online party planning - I might have a knack?
Happy New Year my friend...it is going to be one to talk about!
Hi Deborah Neyens - thank you so much! I had a terrific blast planning this wedding..no muss - no fuss! lol Happy New Year!
These comments are seriously hilarious! I'm still laughing over this!
Dearly Beloved! Here comes the bride! Hit the music Joe! LOL. Ahhh I have to admit Melbel what started as a comment....turned into the Loch Ness Monster:). Haha! So much fun....and you are such a beautiful bride!!
Totally loved doing this....and am sure the party isn't over just yet! Thanks again for having fun with this....and hey I think I might order a Lobster Gram for my husbands birthday next month! Fun!
Wow.. I missed it. I am still shaking my head.. picturing their adorable virtual babies. Kelly.. you are too funny. This style of writing really suits you. If you ever leave hubpages, you would be a great wedding planner. LOL.
This was AWESOME and oh so funny! You did a FANTASTIC job Kelly! A virtual congratulations to Melbel and Thoughtful Sandwiches! Yay! (giggle) Darn Cagsil - we wanted proof! :)
The comment thread is just as fun too!
LOVED IT!!!
Hi Tammy! Lol. I know....the virtual babies were the only thing I couldnt find on the Internet! Haha! I looked but they can just get Farmville and have a bunch of virtual animals instead! Lol. Thank you so much for coming to the wedding!
Hi Miss Olive! Thank you so much for coming! Haha! This was way too much fun...and all because Mel keeps getting weird mail:) haha! When I found out she got a proposal....well how could I leave that alone?? Oh I just couldn't!
Thanks so much for enjoying a little break to have a few laughs!
This was HILARIOUS!!! I guess it really does shine a light on how marriage has changed so much. My mom and dad got married when they were 18 and that was not unheard of. Now Darrel and I have been together for almost 5 years and we are still not even engaged (although for a good reason) and we are almost 25. Still we are taking out time for solid reasonable reasons whereas other people get married with in the year and divorce within the next year. I have so many old friends from high school who are single, divorced, and have 2 kids already. Most of the kids are right around the 4 year old mark... we graduated 5 years ago. It is just crazy! People do not respect marriage the way they once did. Another great hub! Very funny :-)
Hi Myth - thank you so much! I have to admit - I laughed a bunch while writing this:) lol
I dated Dave for 7 years before we got married...we were engaged for 2 years...I didn't see any reason to rush down the isle either. If you love each other then you will still be together years down the road - marriage or no - and it is a lot easier to walk away if you haven't signed a contract! ha! I am so glad you are taking your time...and I am positive you will not regret that. I have never ever hear anyone say, "I so wish we had gotten married sooner!" lol Have you? Never thought about that before!
This was quite amusing... I am so happy for Melbel and TS... in fact I lol at least once. Now that homesteadbound has been crowned queen of hubpages... you could arrange a royal wedding...I saw several very qualified writers leaving hysterical comments and they could represent the tabloids and really build up to the event....Just a thought... I also have to say the organization in your writing was awesome.. Voted up and shared...
Hi davenmidtwon - thank you so much! No doubt...why didn't I think of that? LOL Too funny - nice to meet you! I usally end up being the one who has to go getting all ridiculous and blowing things out of proportion!
I was writing something else recently and saying "drama is not for the work place" and thinking unless you are a writer - in that case drama is good!
Thanks for dropping in and I am even happier you enjoyed the comentary - it usually goes south pretty quick! And I don't mind a bit...happy 2012!
oooh-la-la this is virtually hysterical! And this type of news spreads like viral wildfire. Look how fast everyone has posted their congratulations greetings to the newlyweds or are they still just engaged? Did I miss the date for the wedding? We can all be on skype or teleconference to listen to the vows. Happy, happy new year to everyone. Debby
In coming future, i think, yours on wedding will be staging as reality. It's all convenient for us to see the wedding with out moving a bit, by just sitting in front of our system. If you arrange some best feast, so that, after having witnessed the wedding, we can have it at our home and could bless the couples just by sending some greetings through e-mail and some might send some money as compliment (in India we give money as compliment by register our name in bride's or groom's compliment note)through paypal. if you have an idea of making another one like this, please 'forget me not' to send an invitation, bear in mind, as a fellow hubber. Sure? Anyway my advanced congrats!
Hi Debby Bruck - Skype! Ah good one! I didn't even think of that! LOL Hilarious!
Thanks so much for coming - you are just in time! haha We had an absolute blast with this:) haha Just goofing off and talking about the funny emails we get sometimes from people we don't know - well Melbel got a proposal! How crazy is that? Sweet...but crazy! I just couldn't leave it alone!
Thanks so much for the comments and having fun with us - don't forget to come back later for the virtual reception! LOL
Hi raakachi - Just assuming that you aren't kidding - but I was! LOL These two folks are NOT getting married:) One hub writer is a real beautiful girl and the other one is a puppy! LOL
I love the sending money through paypal idea though so you can just go ahead and drop your cash into my account. I will make sure the happy couple receive that! haha
Have a great year and thanks so much for having fun with us!
This was so cute..I loved it!..What a great guest list..Very creative..Best wishes to the happy couple and cheers to the wedding planner..lol hummm cute puppy and pretty girl..it may could work....haha
Sunnie
Hi Sunnie Day! Thank you so much! We had a great time with this...I do hope they live happily ever after! I think Melbel is trying to find a good vet now:) haha!
Happy 2012 to you!
Jeez, what a lot of comments! My next hub is "Robert gets divorced" (again) Bob
Oh Bob! Now I hate to say this....but you would for sure get lots of hits on that! Lol. Especially if you publish junk like who got what...lol.
Let me know if you do and I'll link it up!! Haha
This was just too cute! You went all out didn't you? And I missed the wedding! Darn! Thanks for a very big laugh!
Hi Homestead - too funny! I was cracking up - I could not believe I could even snag them a marriage license and a virtual minister! LOL Crazy!
Thank you for the very big compliment!!
Oh my you make me laugh til coffee spurts out my nose. You are ABSURD - LOVE IT!!!
Hi Nordy!! So nice to see you! And welcome to the wedding! lol I totally was being absurd:) lol But Melbel really got an email proposal! I guess I just got all carried away and loving to plan weddings and all:) haha!
Thanks so much for coming!
These comments are hilarious! Hehe! I can't believe the laughs are still coming!
Melbel - you ended up having quite a bash here! LOL I laugh everytime I get a notifier on this. I am terrible - shameless even! But this was super hilarious fun! Gosh maybe you two should get married you would probably get a ton of gifts! I would get Thomas a nice new toy to chew on! haha!
nice story, Kelly, and thanks for the brief nod to the origin of diamonds. That is a passion of mine.
Great hub! I hope they're very happy together. :) And I'm glad that Melbel is so unfazed and good-natured given the whole "arranged" nature of her wedding, lol!
Wow, if only I'd known weddings could be this easy to organise...
PDX - I knew you were a cool guy:) yes that annoys me....shiny rocks that kill. Thanks so much!
Hi Moon Daisy! Thank you so much for coming! Lol. We were having fun with this but I know - wedding online isn't a bad idea - cheap and everything! I started figuring out how much we could save...I might have done it! LOL. I'm sure my MIL wouldn't give me any thumbs up on that one tho:) haha!
Thanks a bunch for having good cheer and fun with all of us:)
Kel - you are crazy. (and I mean that in a good way)
Well I for one certainly hope the new couple is happy :) If anything, they've had a beautifully arranged wedding. Has Melbel receive any deposits yet?
Haha! Hey Sharyn! I don't think he has paid up yet:) I think he is trying to hide all his account in a Swiss bank! LOL. Shucks this was super fun and all from a little goofing around:). I really am crazy though....but don't worry I take meds! Lol. J/k.
kelly, thank you! They're overrated anyway!
Yeah.... PDX - I totally agree....exchanging money for rocks never seemed all that smart to me - I don't care how shiny they are! Lol
Cubic Zirconia are just as pretty...
Yeah and so far - I've been married lotsa years and not one person has ever asked me if my ring was a CZ:) lol. No one would have known better! Lol lol
lol... my wife and I don't even have rocks... just pretty little silver bands. Kudos for you for using CZ
Oh no PDX - I have real diamonds:) lol I didn't buy it for myself though...in fact - for my anniversary I retired the big rocks and got a smaller anniversary band! I love the plain bands...my brother in law told me he hated my diamonds once and after that day...I always saw them through guilty eyes:(
Virtual congrats to you and TS,
There is nothing better than a virtual beach wedding.(that's how it was in my head :)
The wedding was a great idea and I managed to get some virtual surf time as well lol
Hi molometer! lol I did this one - just for the pure fun of it:) We were kidding around in a group one night - and I decided Mel and TY should get hitched! lol Thank you so much for having a little fun with us!
melbel 4 months ago
OMG! This was so funny that I was seriously crying. HAHA! It was so nice to see Jake Gyllenhal there!
I'm so thankful as to have you arrange it for me. I was scared for a minute that I was going to have to elope in-game in World of Warcraft.
A real life saver!